Reviewed by B. Lynn Goodwin
Posted on: July 3, 2024
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Families that adopt give from the heart, even though they have no biological connection to the child. But sometimes they’re reluctant to tell an adopted child about the life she was born into. What is the child to do with dreams and fragments of a past that don’t belong in her present life? What happened and why won’t anyone tell her? These are just a few of the questions that Patti Eddington explores in her memoir, the improbable tale of The Girl with Three Birthdays: An Adopted Daughter’s Memoir of Tiaras, Tough Truths, and Tall Tales.
Patti Eddington had loving parents, and she honors them in this story. She didn’t want to hurt them with her questions, but there were holes in the story of her adoption. She believed her parents when they said they’d died her hair to protect her from nosy relatives, but WHY?
When she asked her mother if she could see a copy of her birth certificate so she could get her learner’s permit, she discovered a different birth date. Her mom said, “They actually redo your birth certificate when you’re adopted. We have one with your new name and our names on it.” They’d assigned her a false birth date to thwart anyone who might look for her. WHY? “I would be 58 before I realized I wasn’t born November 15th,” Eddington wrote.
Once it was possible to research family history online, her daughter gifted her with a test that would determine her background. After she finally used it, Eddington became curious and petitioned a family court to unseal her adoption records, which were nearly 60 years old. Her training as a journalist taught her how to investigate, and she was now looking at the most important case of her life. Who were her biological parents and why had they abandoned her?
Would it have been better to leave the past alone? You’ll form your own opinions as you read this story of love and forgiveness, written with skill by a reporter who turned her investigative skills into an exploration of where she was from, what she might have inherited from her biological parents, and the age-old nature vs. nurture question.
It’s always a challenge to write about the people we know. Relationships color impressions. Eddington makes her characters seem real to readers and stays within the specific story she’s telling rather than dipping into off-subject memories. As this provocative story of lies and protection developed, so did my curiosity.
When I read the intriguing title, I knew this would be a good story. It didn’t disappoint. You can’t make family up, and all things considered, why would you try? Every family comes with unique stories. This is an excellent one for anyone who’s ever felt there was a secret in their family. Probably, that’s most of us. Highly recommended.
